You wrote very well about struggling to establish your identity in a large group of children. There are advantages to having lots of siblings but I'm sure it can be hard to get the individual attention you crave, as well as feel like you're 'someone' rather than 'one of those [insert family surname] kids'.

The way you describe your family... they do seem conservative. From what you write, you're not really like that; it must be difficult to be able to find areas in common :/ I guess I hope that your siblings who are not yet married and want to be, get that opportunity, and they also end up happy later in life.

It also strikes me how much you feel connected to them, and worry about them. Part of being one of the older siblings, I suppose!