Just Wind it Up.
Nov. 8th, 2010 11:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I'm winding it up now.
You started the process, snipping away the knot the ending and here, I just need to pull out my bit here, and there, and over there, and (can you move your leg?), OK, here.
And that bit.
It's hard for me to believe that you're leaving your pieces here but I guess as I pull it apart ... there wasn't as much of your yarn in this blanket after all.
It was so big and warm and wide that ... I didn't realize you were unraveling it, piece by piece. I didn't realize most of the colors were mine. And now ... you walk away and it's ... how can you again? You don't even want to take your bits with you?
Oh. I see. You still have a huge ball of yarn.
Well. I ...
He's gone. Didn't even wait to help me roll this. I guess "over" means "no scrap of interest left, whatsoever." It's OK. I mean, it will be OK. Someday. Right? That's what they say, just "take the time to heal."
Fuck this! Heal! Heal! It's taking all my damned time just trying to tie all these stupid little bits of yarn back together. And now all I am is a mess of knots and I hate knots! I'm old and bumpy and stretched out and rough ... all those smooth, flowing feelings are ruined. I just want to walk away but if I do, there's nothing left of me at all.
Here's another piece. Knot. Pull it tight. Grab another piece. Knot. When will I have enough to even roll it once? Here's some ... I need to snip ...it's still tangled. Damn. After all this time, I'm still tangled up in him.
You started the process, snipping away the knot the ending and here, I just need to pull out my bit here, and there, and over there, and (can you move your leg?), OK, here.
And that bit.
It's hard for me to believe that you're leaving your pieces here but I guess as I pull it apart ... there wasn't as much of your yarn in this blanket after all.
It was so big and warm and wide that ... I didn't realize you were unraveling it, piece by piece. I didn't realize most of the colors were mine. And now ... you walk away and it's ... how can you again? You don't even want to take your bits with you?
Oh. I see. You still have a huge ball of yarn.
Well. I ...
He's gone. Didn't even wait to help me roll this. I guess "over" means "no scrap of interest left, whatsoever." It's OK. I mean, it will be OK. Someday. Right? That's what they say, just "take the time to heal."
Fuck this! Heal! Heal! It's taking all my damned time just trying to tie all these stupid little bits of yarn back together. And now all I am is a mess of knots and I hate knots! I'm old and bumpy and stretched out and rough ... all those smooth, flowing feelings are ruined. I just want to walk away but if I do, there's nothing left of me at all.
Here's another piece. Knot. Pull it tight. Grab another piece. Knot. When will I have enough to even roll it once? Here's some ... I need to snip ...it's still tangled. Damn. After all this time, I'm still tangled up in him.